Screenwriters ...

Do you ever wonder how some films are made. Perhaps more to the point with some films, why they are made. I often think that looking at British film output, particularly where Lottery funding has been obtained. In one sense you want funding to be available for British films, so at least we can compete with the Hollywood factory, but we also want entertaining output, not some turgid self-indulgent piece starring a host of luvvies but which nobody wants to watch.

You also don't want turgid piles of poo posing as British comedy, such as "Sex Lives of the Potato Men". We can do comedy and we can do it well. However, we do produce a lot of rubbish. You'd just think that someone atv a high enough level would say "Whoa! Hold on. This stinks!"

I should also add that Hollywood obviously produces its fair share of hideous cinematic fayre, "Norbit" being a recent example, but they can take care of themselves. Oh for a British film industry that consistently produces entertaining movies that we all want to watch.

Q: How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten.
1st draft. Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft. Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft. Hero stops villain from changing light bulb. Villain falls to death.
4th draft. Lose the light bulb.
5th draft. Light bulb back in. Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft. Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero's mentor.
7th draft. Fluorescent not working. Back to tungsten.
8th draft. Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft. Hero laments loss of light bulb. Doesn't change it.
10th draft. Hero changes light bulb.