TV Cops ...

When I was a lad ( ah, steady, I'm sounding older than I really am ) I remember black and white TV and the main diet was cop shows and westerns. Remember "Dixon Of Dock Green"? George Dixon must have been the oldest serving policeman in the world, ever! "Evening all." How quaint and naive it all seems now. Don't know quite what George might have made of CIS. He might have stood there under his blue lamp and said, "You know, they make a lot about foensic work in the force today, but sometimes solving crime comes down to plain old copper's instict. Take the other week ..."

Dan-de-dan-dan. Dan-de-dan-dan-daaaan! Ah yes, Sgt. Joe "I carry a badge" Friday. Loved "Dragnet". "Highway Patrol" and "77 Sunset Strip". Other notable British products, "No Hiding Place", police cars with bells for sirens, which was regular Friday night viewing, and of course, Z Cars with that immortal theme.

Today we have a contrast, from the soap "The Bill", to the stylised, quaintness that is "Midsomer Murders", to the cerebral "Morse" and the spin off "Lewis", the gritty reality of "Taggart" and "Prime Suspect". Crossing the pond it's very slick, led, in my opinion, by the "CIS" franchise.

However, over the years the principal idea behind these programmes hasn't changed too much. You have around 45 minutes to two hours to solve a crime, or series of crimes. "The Bill" because of it's weekly nature can handle stories much differently, but for the rest of them the formula is set. In George Dixon's day the criminal would have his collar felt and go quietly; "OK, it's a fair cop." Today, we might need an OK corral shoot out to sort matters, but we know that by the time the credits roll there will be resolution. I bet cops in the real world wish it were always so.

Q: How many TV cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:
One to say, "OK, what have we got?"
One to reply, "Lightbulb in the office. Might have been dead for a few hours. We'll know more when we get the electrician's report."
One to enquire, "Anyone see anything?"
One to answer, "The cleaner finished up about eight last night and says it was alright then. Secretary was in early this morning, found the bulb smashed on the floor. She's pretty shook up."
One clever one to notice, "Does something strike you odd about this? Take the spread of the glass on the carpet ... "