Celebrities ...

I have a problem with celebrity. To be more accurate I have a problem with a society obsessed with celebrity. Movie stars, TV stars and sports stars. The weekly magazines are full of them, their eating habits, their dress sense, their unguarded moments. Please! Who cares?

What's even more amazing is people who are now famous ( celebrity ) for being famous. Jade Goody has obviously imploded, in what must be the greatest example of TV irony ever, yet she made a million by appearing in a TV reality show. This is the example that kids want to follow. They want to be on TV, be famous and have their fifteen minutes. Witness the rush to "Media Studies".

We have our sense of worth totally skewed by some of the extraordinary money that some celebrities rake in each year. They are just doing a job like every other working person. They are no better or no worse and neither are their opinions, and yet we worship at their altar; hang on every word; bestow them with free gifts for their endorsement;they are our heroes.

Wrong! If you want real heroes look for those people caring for disabled relatives 24 hours a day; NHS staff struggling to look after us with all the paperwork and pressure; teachers trying to educate when kids have no respect. Any chance they'll make the front of Hello or OK magazine? I think not.

Q: How many celebrities does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 12 on the C list. One is voted off each week after combining the scores of the judging panel and the viewer phone vote, following a series of wacky challenges, until only one remains to be crowned King or Queen of the Socket, change the lightbulb and claim the money for charity, because that's what it's all about really, not the chance to boost a flagging career or the twenty-five grand appearance money.