Thankfully I'm not called upon too many times to High Street shop these days. Clothes shopping in particular simply irritates me, and I'd much rather lose myself in a well stocked bookstore. When I do venture out to the city then it is not uncommon to have the added trial of the High Street survey takers.
Always hunting in packs, they present a formidable obstacle. There is a knack to negotiating this human obstacle course, which involves timing, agility and a certain amount of good fortune. Rarely have they all ensnared some poor wretch at the same time, so you need to stay focussed on the ones who are scanning the High Street for likely targets.
If they are immediately in front of your destination store then you will have to be strong, avoid eye contact at all costs and dash past them anxiously looking at your watch as if late for some hugely important meeting. If, on the other hand, your destination is beyond the last one then a combination of brisk walking, veering across the road to casually look at a window then swiftly moving on, and, the key tactic, no eye contact, should see you safely home.
Q: How many survey takers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1. About three times a week.
2. Tesco's, Sainsbury's, or Morrison's.
3. I never vote at elections.
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